Self-control and how we can deal with anger
Shalom beloved sisters! Today, on a very personal level, I want to talk about an issue that I also struggle with: self-control.
'But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, longsuffering, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control. Against such there is no law. ' Galatians 5:22-23
What is self control?
Self-control is the ability to control oneself, especially one's feelings and desires, or the way we express ourselves in difficult situations. When we are under pressure or in a delicate and emotional situation, our character reveals itself. Especially, a side of us that can get very uncomfortable.
God disciplines us
As we walk with the Most High, He begins to remove these "fallen" qualities to transform us so that we can bring glory to Him and become more like Christ. Of course, self-abandonment plays a major role here: the Father can only change us if we use our free will and want to be changed. The Word of God teaches us not to get angry easily, but to have self-control over our feelings. If we submit to God's upbringing and instructions, He will also allow situations in which He can sharpen us. This is how the Father disciplines and trains us.
„And you have forgotten the appeal which speaks to you as to sons, “My son, do not despise the discipline of יהוה, nor faint when you are reproved by Him, for whom יהוה loves, He disciplines, and flogs every son whom He receives.” If you endure discipline, Elohim is treating you as sons. For what son is there whom a father does not discipline? But if you are without discipline, of which all have become sharers, then you are illegitimate and not sons.“ Hebrews 12:5-8
Discipline doesn't seem comfortable at the time we experience it. It feels painful and maybe it feels more like a curse. It later produces a harvest of justice and peace for those who have been trained by it.
Being a wife, mother or daughter requires patience and self-control. But with the wisdom of God, the Holy Spirit renews our thinking. He lets us find joy in the everyday tasks of life. The Holy Spirit will use these tasks to lead us to a gentle and calm frame of mind that will empower us to control our emotions, use sound judgment, think wisely, and become gentle in our ways.
The fact that we were giving the responsibility to take care of our homes, we should cultivate more inner peace with ourselves in order to be at peace with others.
I am angry
I once saw a post where a woman explained the concept of getting and being angry. When I'm angry, I. I am the one who is angry. I am the person that feels the anger. I don't annoy the other person, the other person doesn't notice my feelings at all. I'm the only one who's still annoyed and angry by a situation. And the bad feeling stays with me. The anger about what happened stays with me. The sentence: I am angry, is true. Because I stay alone with the anger, it's only me who is affected of an external thing or another person! And carrying around these bad feelings with me all day is very unhealthy. The anger and frustration that we feel in such moments, definitely needs to be dealt with. As women we are very emotional and we might take specific situations very personal. I can only speak for myself: most of the time when I feel anger, I actually feel betrayed and unfairly treated. Injustice is what makes me angry! And I really struggle with it. It can be very hard to classify my emotions and find a way to deal with them wisely.
How do I deal with my anger?
We have to ask ourselves: Which value is actually being attacked by the behavior of the other person? That's the real reason for the anger. A value that is important to me was disregarded. For me it was a situation not too long ago where the values responsible behavior and justice towards me were mistreated. These values were violated by another person and that made me angry. As I write this post, I reflect and rebuke myself as well ... I'm treating this blog partly like a diary because it's about the real everyday life of faith.
The next moment something triggers anger in me, I want to do this:
I realize that responsible behavior and justice are of great value to me. And then I decide that I want to act according to these values myself. In my life, of course, I want to represent biblical values. Do people act against these values and it triggers anger in me, then I want to live out these values and walk as an example! Because, if I'm completely honest, I don't always act fairly and responsibly myself. Whenever my values get disrespected, I can now make a new decision to act according to these values!
So, I basically want to turn the negative feeling into a positive decision. Are you annoyed by people who are constantly have to have something to gripe about? Great, then don't be like that and appreciate the good sides and traits of a person! Are you a person who values sincerity? Excellent! Then be sincere yourself! So we are allowed to turn the anger into a value!
Use the fruit of forbearance to love and serve others. Your patience and the way you set an example allow others to learn from you. Be a good example for the people around you. Bring more joy and unity into your living environment.
We will experience many emotions and suffering in our lives that may be the result of something we cannot control and which may disregard a very specific value.
For example, comparison, competitiveness, jealousy, resentment, or loneliness can steal our joy and leave us frustrated. It makes us feel bad. But when we surrender ourselves completely to the Most High, our thinking begins to change. That doesn't mean we won't experience those emotions anymore, but how we respond to them is changing. We will be more conscious of how we react to what stands in our way and makes us feel bad.
By God's grace, we can deal more and more with the Fruits of the Spirit and how we can let the Father change and discipline us.
Feel free to share your thoughts, experiences, ideas or questions with me! I look forward to fellowship with you. I appreciate you very much, be blessed by the Heavenly Father!
See you until the next post :)